Hello all you stupid idiots. I've decided to AMAZE you with an amazing and TRUE story about my life to give your meaningless fucking existences a few moments of interest before you inevitably KILL YOURSELVES!

Fuck so I was working on the old chain gang cause I got caught busting up gumball machines with a pipe wrench. So anyfuck me and the rest of the state penitentiary slaves were digging a fucking trench to hell in the fucking blazing sun along interstate 88 (Heil Hitler!)! It was so boring that me and my boiz decided to sing a peppy work song to keep our spirits up! "Day is never finished, master got me workin', someday master set me free!" I was on the souff side of the street with all my aryan homeboys because after spending two days in prison I had organized the largest white suppremist prison gang in the entire WORLD! All the nigmates were segregated on the other side of the highway where the fucking sand was courser and the thistle weeds grew thicker. Also their chains were like twice as heavy as ours. You know, separate but equal. Suddenly I had the worst spergerz-ing out of my life and I bellowed "FUCK IT'S HOTTER'N AFRICA OUT HERE!" and I gawked at the fucking nukkas while they mumbled and got that cute little pissy look they get when they think you are talking about them. I'm still not sure if they understand human languages. One of the brillo-heads shouted out something in his fucking gorilla howls at us and I could tell he was the leader because of the silver stripe on his back but I couldn't understand his fucking ape shouting so I just continued with the song. "Day is never finished, master got me workin'-" and the spookzilla was like "AW HELLZ NAW" and he came fucking rushing me with his little baby shank which based on the craftsmanship I think he stole from a five year old boy.

Of course I could have liquefied him before he even got close with my acid magic but I decided to give him a sporting chance but when his fucking pointed rock (modern negro technology) shattered on my invincible armor of crusted on feces from living in the sewer mixed with dirt and earth and shit from passing out drunk in the fucking park so long that I LITERALLY became part of the landscape I couldn't help but laugh in his FACE! This only seemed to anger him more and since his brood (word for nigger species classification) are only capable of basic childish emotional responses so he kept stabbing me and I didn't feel a thing since my flesh is basically completely necrotic and it's more maggots and worms than living tissue anyways! This only made me laugh even harder and the fucking bass resonance of my booming bellows shattered his ear drums and blood erupted from his fucking head and he screamed in pure agony! Just to shut him the fuck up because his animal squeals drove me fucking psychotic I smashed him in this goddamn mouth with my chains which I whipped up so hard all my white brothers got their fucking ankles broken and they fell down in a pathetically mewling heap!

Turning back to the negroziod I started to offer him some help because I thought he might be in some kind of pain but he wouldn't even acknowledge me so I got mad and ripped his fucking cock off and jammed it the fuck up my nose! Then I snorted so fucking hard it shot up and tickled my brain! "DO YOU BELIEVE IN VOODOO?" I screamed! Then I fucking shoved some grave dirt up his ass and splashed him in the face with fucking alligator diarrhea and started stabbing his genitals with my voodoo needles over and over hundreds of times and every nigger in the entire world doubled over in fucking pain because they all look the same (I know it was EVERY nigger because I looked into the future and saw the news reports about Obama doubling over and knocking over the fucking Ayatollah's head diaper at some peace summit and it ended up causing the Iran-US war to last for over fifty years!).

After I got bored I was fucking staring at the sun when I noticed a disgusting piece of black garbage on the ground and I fucking blew my top at the thought that someone had littered along the highway and left a disgusting pile of black shit with red liquid oozing out. I picked it up and threw it in the fucking muddoven I had constructed from the fucking highway dirt and my liquid feces and nectar ball sweat but when I turned on the fucking heat I heard it screaming and I was all like "Fuck that pizza must have been JEWISH because it screams in the oven!" and I laughed at my own fucking joke for twenty minutes even though I kinda fucked it up. Then I fucking whipped off my pants and blasted out an OCEANIC amount of pure DIARHREA from eating prison food which sealed the nigger in his tomb PERMANENTLY in a sarcophagus of PURE SHIT!

Just then the fucking dyke-a-rella guard came up with her fucking riffle and sunglasses'n'shit and was trying to get up if my face about what was going on but when she saw my fucking exposed cock-lossus she was instantly smitten and dropped her gun and walked like a zombie towards my cock while never breaking eye contact. She didn't even notice when I fucking cracked her upside the head with my ham sized fist which reduced her fucking spine to POWDER because she was instantly lost in hyperspace when I slammed my mighty johnson deep in her most sacred love canal and she didn't even care when the immense pressure from my banging exploded every vital organ in her body! Just as she was about to have the most powerful and life-fulfilling orgasm of her entire existence I sliced off her nipples and clit with my SS dagger and fried them with the heat from our friction! Fried clit is a fucking DELICIOUS snack that almost no one has tried! Seriously check it out! Anyfuck I slashed her fuckin throat to fucking ribbons and her body hardened from instant rigor mortis as she died locking her expression of agony/disgust/pleasure forever until I leaped up and her body crumbled to dust as I pulled out just in time to cram my dinosaurian fuckcolumn in my mouth as it vomited forth its unholy mess and I greedily guzzled it down because my cosmic demonseed is the only substance in the UNIVERSE powerful enough to nourish me!

Fuck so by this time all my prison buddies where trying to get the fuck away from there but they weren't getting far since they were all chained up so I lent a hand by flexing my goddamn pecs so hard every chain that ever bound a prisoner in the history of the universe was SHATTERED (this caused mass prison breaks world wide) and they all ran for the hills but I had an AMAZING time hunting every last one of them down with the riffle the skank guard dropped and the guard pickup truck! I didn't spare my white suppremist gang either because I found out that they all had ancestors that came out of AFRICA a mere 200,000 years ago and in my book that makes them all a bunch of dirty negroidal MUDBLOODS!

Well that's my fucking story. This story is completely true and I have tons of proof as well as witnesses with sworn affidavits who will testify on my behalf! So fuck If you don't fucking believe it then you need mental help!